I don’t know about you, but for my part, it has been very difficult, for a very long time, to find the “right” words. They came out very (too) spontaneously, sometimes with +/- positive consequences.
But do you always have to think before you speak? Yes, undoubtedly, as long as you don’t plunge into the register of calculations in front of the Other, because spontaneity is useful.
So, how can one speak spontaneously, without it being calculated or made “to measure”, insipid, not to say manipulative?
I believe that the alignment between the gut, the heart and the mind, is probably the beginning of the answer. The words we share, when they are the result of such an alignment, embody who we are. One is just oneself, with its paradoxes, its “defects” and “qualities”.
This alignment is first of all necessary towards oneself. It is what we owe to ourselves. Words are no longer words for words, but words based on the awareness of the existence of the Other. The Other can then accept or refuse the words.
1) To have the “right” words, supposes to be aligned with oneself. 2) The reciprocity of relations depends then only on the free will of each person. 3) Action can happen.
Let’s listen to you!